It’s Christmas, and we’re meant to feel festive, so I’m not going to dwell on how dire the flatting situation is out there. Or the house buying situation which puts us in the flatting situation to start with. But chances are, if you have a friend/family member under 40 who doesn’t have a trust fund or very well-paid job, they’re flatting.
Flatting is like one of those triangle games - ‘money/looks/brains: choose two’ - but it’s more like, ‘affordable/warm/bigger than a treehouse/decent shower pressure/not so incredibly damp that all your clothes go mouldy: choose one.’ Regardless, we’re all just out here doing what we can with what we have in an attempt to make our home a little cosy and safe. As safe as you can feel knowing you might be evicted at any time for no reason! <3
With that in mind, here is a list of gifts for your friend (or family member) who has just moved into a new flat, yet again. Whatever the situation, hopefully these will make their life a little bit nicer, a little bit luxurious, a little bit Alexis. I stand by them all, mainly because I have just moved into a new flat myself and will be sending this list to the approximately two people who will ask me, ‘what do you want for Christmas’.
A Tekla washcloth, $25, or hand towel, $65, from Simon James
After years of sleeping on average sheets, I finally invested in some nice bedding from Tekla. It is one of the best purchases I have made. Still – their sheets are expensive and we’re in a cossie living crisis, so I’m not going to tell you to drop $300+ on your third cousin twice removed. But everything Tekla makes is nice; and the cheapest thing on the Simon James website is a hand towel or flannel.
Exit Mould, $9
It’s not a New Zealand flat without a generous dusting of mould. Still, it’s hardly the decoration of choice. Word of warning: my lovely boyfriend decided to clean the black mould off our roof. My lovely boyfriend did not realise the main ingredient in a lot of mould removers is bleach. My lovely boyfriend sprayed the Exit Mould on the roof, after which it drifted slowly down in a speckled formation – on to my Tekla bedsheets. :)
A Japanese kitchen knife, $100
Unless you’re moving in with an aspiring Jeremy Allen White (yes, chef), chances are the knives at your new abode are going to be blunt or non-existent. But that’s ok, because you don’t need a hundred knives to make your flat a colossal batch of sheet nachos in an attempt to win them over. You just need one (or two) really good ones. A couple of my friends got me this one for my birthday last year, and chopping onions has never been more enjoyable.
A good pan, like this chef’s pan from Frances Nation, $100
If your friend is moving into an unfurnished flat, you can guarantee they’re spending $20 at Kmart on a pan that’ll start shedding little bits of plastic after they burn their bacon. Save them from this perilous path and give them a good pan. Good pans are not a sexy thing to spend money on, but they are a sexy thing to have.
A Briscoes voucher, $ optional
When it comes to flatting, there are basically two paths: you’re moving into a place that’s been through about three generations of friends of friends of friends, all who have left their extraneous junk in there. These friends do not need the Briscoes voucher. These friends have seven kettles stashed in the back of the pantry.
The alternative is moving into a flat that is completely unfurnished. This is fun in the sense that you get to make little Pinterest boards for each room’s vibe. This is not fun in the sense that you can’t really afford to buy all the things that fit said vibe, because you need to spend your furnishing budget on boring, necessary things. A kettle. A toaster. A spatula. A toilet brush. A mop. A grater. These friends need the Briscoes voucher.
Aēsop Post-Poo Drops, $45
There is little else more stressful than moving into a flat with strangers than shitting. Look: everyone shits. We all know this. Ideally will reach a point in your flatting relationship where you can just say, ‘yeah, sorry guys, it fucking honks in there.’ But you don’t want your first impression to be the girl who stinks out the single dunny before the other four flatmates have their morning shower. And while a lot of bathroom sprays are so chemically potent it makes the smell worse, these are a godsend.
A framing voucher, $ optional
One thing that makes a room feel more like a home is having something on the walls. But it’s hard to gift art, because a) art taste is very personal, and b) art is fucking expensive. A framing voucher, however, is an excellent way to help the cause. The recipient may not be able to afford an expensive print, but that doesn’t matter: throw anything in a nice frame and it’ll look good on your wall.
A yum candle, like this ‘Lazy Sunday Morning’ Maison Margiela one from Mecca, $70-$119
One of the easiest ways to make your room or home welcoming is to get some good smelly things. Some people swear by incense, but I’m more of a candle girl. This one is “inspired by the pure joy of waking up in freshly washed, crumpled sheets with the sun on your skin,” which is a good substitute if your room gets no sun and you haven’t washed your sheets in *checks notes* [redacted].
Nice laundry detergent, like this Everyday Launder wash from Ashley & Co, $45
But you should wash your sheets lots! Getting into fresh sheets is also one of the top five feelings (alongside putting on new socks), and a nice bed maketh a nice home. Another good way to elevate your life on a basement budget is having slightly fancy versions of basic things, like this laundry detergent from Ashley and Co.
A really nice olive oil and/or balsamic vinegar, like this Mr Olio EVOO, $25, or Due Vittorie balsamic, $30
The ‘fancy versions of basic things’ philosophy applies to the pantry as well. Sure, the price of rent/groceries/everything these days might mean you’re eating vege soup with stale bread for the fourth day in a row. But drizzle it with some fancy olive oil and enjoy your Michelin star sweetie.
