This story is part of Ensemble's doll week
Most people, myself included, have a “grass is greener” complex with their hair. An impulse to make their straight hair wavy, or curly hair straight, to get more volume into fine hair or make thick hair flatter. But the most universal desire has got to be those with naturally dark hair wanting to go blonde. It’s a transformation as old as time. Well, as old as 1867 – when peroxide was invented - according to The Vogue Book of Blondes.
The book, borrowed from my editor Zoe Walker Ahwa (we’ll get to her blonde complex soon), was written by beauty editor Kathy Phillip, with the foreword by blonde icon Donatella Versace. It features just about every blonde legend throughout history – bombshells of the 50s, Alfred Hitchcock’s ice-blonde heroines and peroxide pop stars from Madonna to Miley.
Phillip dives deep into our cultural obsession with blondes and the codes and connotations that come with each varying shade. There’s the warm, California Sun-In streaked blonde, the bleached-to-the-root ‘ditzy’ blonde, the punk bleach-blonde with sooty regrowth.
Obviously stereotyping people by their hair colour is silly, but throughout history, the act of lightening your hair has generally proven to attract attention and invoke pure femme hedonism. ‘Blondes have more fun,’ the infamous saying coined by artist David Hockney probably convinced more people to buy bleach than buy his paintings.
Going blonde can be expensive, but despite the current recession there seems to be bleached roots everywhere you look lately. Blame the Y2K comeback with the party-girl blondes of the 2000s (Britney, Paris, Nicole, Lindsay), or the blonde on everyone's lips (and screens, and buses, and window displays) at the moment, Barbie.
Just the other week I saw a TikTok of Paramore singer Hayley Williams at the salon, talking to the camera while her hair marinated in lilac peroxide: “There’s probably a lot of deep reasons… but I guess the lightest way of saying it is that when my hair’s blonde I feel a little bit more grounded in myself as a person, not as a Paramore member, you know? So it is therapy, in a way, for me.”
Any bottle blonde will agree that moving to the light side isn’t just a chemical process, it’s an emotional one. Along with the physical transformation is a kind of mental rebirth, leaving you with a new disposition, even a new identity. Just think of Marilyn Monroe, the ‘patron saint of Peroxide’ whose entire life trajectory changed each time she took her hair a shade lighter.
I was 13 the first time I succumbed to the bleach, majorly influenced by a photo of Debbie Harry on stage wearing a T-shirt and no pants. As my sister took sewing scissors and two boxes of Schwarzkopf Nordic Blonde to my waist-length brown hair, I remember reading the back of the box, full of naive hope: Nordic blonde. Discover the fascination of blonde.
Obviously I was about to discover a tent-shaped disaster the exact colour of Tweety Bird. It would be a long, expensive few years before I reached the Milky-Bar-blonde of my dreams and entered my girl-band era.
Life as a blonde was addictive. Getting glammed up was more fun, I wore lots of monochrome, red lipstick, and trashy gold jewellery. I received more attention from men, both good and bad. Once at a party, a man much older than me said I was “dumber than a dumb blonde” because I chose to colour my dark hair “to look stupid”. He was bald.
It is true that you get viewed differently as a blonde, that’s sort of the point.
There’s always more to a blonde than meets the eye, so I asked some past and present bottle blondes to share what their peroxide eras represent.
Ash Williams, model, actor and designer
My blonde icons are… Beyoncé, Kelis, Megan Thee Stallion.
I went through a breakup that may or may not have influenced my decision to go blonde. The breakup definitely sparked the idea of change but it came from a place of redirecting my energy back into myself and doing things I've always wanted to do. I wanted to go blonde for two years and once I was single and only giving a f**k about me, I did it.
My hair means a lot to me and I've spent a long time trying to maintain its length and healthy state, so I was extremely nervous that it would absolutely KILL my curls. That said, Commune, the salon where I got it done, made me feel at ease and did such a good job! Seven hours in the salon is nothing once you've had your hair braided for 15 hours.
The colour I chose was based on Beyoncé’s caramel blonde era, she is and forever will be that girl! Also Kelis and Megan Thee Stallion had some impact on my decision and now I'm so delusional I think that I look like them.
I am just as silly and sexy as I was brunette. The main difference is the comments about my hair went from "how do you take care of that, must be hard to maintain" to "how long did the process take, I've always wanted to go this colour, were you nervous, is it real, you look like Kelis." Blondes don't have more fun, they have more questions it seems.
Nahyeon Lee, director and producer
My blonde icons are… Daul Kim, Galadriel, Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface.
I’d always wanted to go blonde, I grew up in the era of Britney and Paris and all these iconically blonde white women on TV and in magazines in Aotearoa. As I got older, my relationship with my hair got more complicated. I felt my natural hair tied me to my Korean heritage and going blonde was a bit of a traitorous act. It was later when I discovered Daul Kim and Soo-Joo Park that blonde-ness could begin to feel like a space of expression, reclamation and subversion.
Chhaly, my angel from Toni and Guy, does my roots every 6-8 weeks and it is a very expensive endeavour. Going to get my roots done has become a therapeutic part of my life – working in the arts, my work schedule is always in flux, but this routine in my life remains constant.
I think going blonde as a Korean woman in diaspora allows me to stand a little more defiant against both beauty standards in Aotearoa. I’d like to go back to my natural hair colour soon – the upkeep is very demanding and I’d like to feel a bit closer to my roots (literally and figuratively!).
Camila Sarlo, hairdresser
My blonde icons are… Jennifer Lopez and Sofia Vergara.
My Latinas who can pull off a super golden blonde were my inspiration: JLo, Shakira, Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara and Beyoncé (who is not Latina but has Latina energy). I just love how summery they always looked, even in winter, so it all started with wanting to look more sun kissed.
I honestly felt super confident after going lighter, it felt like I had been that colour my whole life. Because of my curls the vibe was more beachy, I guess I looked more informal? I associate that time with not feeling like an awkward teenager anymore. I was also going through my ‘party every weekend’ phase, so yes, blondes have more fun!
I was terrified of going back to dark because I genuinely loved being blonde, it was more the maintenance that made me do it, but now that I’m back to my natural colour (dark brown) I feel more put together and chic. I do find myself having to put makeup on every day to not look super washed out though.
Stacy Gregg, writer
My blonde icons are… Courtney Love, Debbie Harry, Kim Gordon.
I went blonde last year because the time between getting my grey roots retouched had become fortnightly and I just thought “something’s gotta give, this is untenable.” It really is impossible to transition elegantly to grey from dark brunette, which is what I was. Mind you, the whole idea of going blonde for me was not intended to be in any way elegant at all. I wanted my hair to be obviously bleached, my inspirations were all punk/grunge.
I had to force my hairdresser (Jodie at Inspirations, one of my best friends) at gunpoint. She was like “you’ll destroy your hair”. But I’m pretty sure my thick hair could survive a thermonuclear blast.
It took six months to get the dirty Champagne blonde I was after… The irony is my roots used to look grey against the brunette and now they look sooty dark against the blonde which is ideal – regrowth is definitely a part of the look. Now I see Jodie less than when I was brunette, so it is cheaper in the long run.
I was white-blonde as a kid – and in Ngāruawahia that set me very much apart from my cousins. Mum was Ngāti Mahuta/Ngāti Pukeko – dark hair and dark skin. She was probably asked a lot if us kids were adopted. In my teens I had a henna red phase and then I was dark brown for so many years – always dyed. Going back to blonde was a complex decision culturally. It definitely makes me look more Pākehā.
I’m doing full immersion level 5 this year at Te Wānanga o Aotearoa and I know sometimes when I’m on the marae there’s an assumption that I’m not Māori but I think I have to take that with good grace. I benefitted my whole life in a way my Mum never did by presenting as white – I can’t deny the advantages that gave me so I have to take it on the chin now when people don’t think I’m Māori because of my hair and skin and at the same time equally I’m not going to keep my hair dark to validate my identity.
Do blondes have more fun? Well, blonde is the colour of porn and trashy, drug-addled rock chicks. A real trampy, vampy train-wreck of a hair colour. It’s Madonna and Marilyn and latterly the Kardashians so yeah, sure, it makes sense that would be more fun.
Henare Davidson, hairdresser
My blonde icons are… Pamela Anderson, Lady Gaga, Blondie… and me!
I honestly have no idea how many times I’ve gone blonde, maybe 100? I first did it when I was like 11. I'm a very impulsive person, so I usually just wake up and decide ‘today will be the day.’
I’ve had times where the bleaching has taken all day and lots of mental breakdowns along the way. I also have a very sensitive scalp so if I have to do it multiple times I'm usually in a bit of pain.
I associate my blonde eras with being mentally unstable. Just kidding, it's usually around summer or if I feel like I don't have control over my life, going blonde is a quick fix.
Tatum Savage, publicist and brand consultant
My blonde icons are… Gwyneth Paltrow in Great Expectations, Charlize Theron in Atomic Blonde, Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and Jennifer Lawrence always.
Before going blonde I had been dying my hair blue-black for over 20 years. My natural hair is dark brown, but after a modelling job went awry when I was 15, I dyed my hair black to cover up the Garfield situation. I liked it, and it stuck – for a long time. That was until I went to a black tie event last year and got hold of some blonde extensions. I took a selfie and posted a yes/no poll on Instagram. For every person who voted no, 10 voted yes including my hairdresser.
In reality, it was less about the positive reinforcement and more the fact that I was going grey. I’m of Tongan-German descent and going grey early seems to be in our blood. Towards the end of my black-haired days I was in the salon every 2-3 weeks to cover them up. Although going full grey isn’t an option for me right now (the back of my head is far less grey than the front) it’s also just not for me - as much as I think women who have embraced their greys are stunning. So, I took the plunge a year ago and I’m happy I did! the upkeep for me now is far less, and surprisingly a lot lighter on the pocket.
Being blonde feels liberating! I’ve always played it safe with my hair so it feels good to have something new after so long. I’ve also recently started my own PR business and feel the strongest now mentally and physically than I have in years, so I feel like my hair transformation is a translation of my current state of mind.
Zoe Walker Ahwa, Ensemble editor and co-founder
My blonde icons are… Sienna Miller, Baby Spice, the model on the Sun-In box, Catherine Deneuve in the 60s (before she went weird).
I’ve been a golden blonde, dark brunette with a blunt fringe, a deep red, a natural mousy ‘bronde’, but I know that I am a blonde at heart. My flirtations with the dark side have always coincided with eras in my life that were hard: terrible boyfriends, trying to fit in, unemployment. I joke that when I’ve been depressed, I have been brunette. I hate that such feelings can be connected with outward appearances but when I’m at my sunniest, lightest blonde, I feel most like myself.
When we started Ensemble I had very little disposable income, so I didn’t go to my hairdresser for a year or so. I grew out my roots and attempted to embrace it as a feminist statement against beauty standards. But I hated it! As soon as I got my first pay cheque, I was back at the salon going as blonde as my hairdresser Sean (from Colleen) would let me.
