When I turned 25, I decided I would be one of those people who always has their nails done. In my head, whenever I pictured ‘adult me’, I had manicured nails and my shit together. I’m still working on that second part, but ever since my quarter-life crisis I’ve had professionally manicured nails, in about 30 different colours. I did the math, and that’s nearly one working week of my life I've spent just sitting in a salon chair. If you think that’s crazy, get this: I have never once enjoyed the process.
It’s not that I always have to wait, despite booking and arriving on time. Or that I have to hold hands with a stranger for an hour, unable to scroll on my phone or make small talk for that long (I hate it when people get deep in the salon). I’m left trapped, watching foreign renditions of X Factor on the screen above me until I fall into a deep, deep trance.
To me, the chore is still worth the result - seeing ten fingers uniformly filed and painted to perfection, tapping away in front of me for the next few weeks brings a sense of calm and order that my Virgo brain is always thirsty for.
What my dread of the salon is really about is my inability to make a decision. As soon as I’m in the chair, three sizable trays stacked with plastic nails lands in my lap and the pressure to “pick a colour” begins. I’ve barely eyed the first ring of pastels before an impatient foot-tapping enters my vision.
“Just a few more minutes!” I lie, bringing up the references I’ve saved on my phone. Glossy olive green or baby blue? Lime green french tip? Ok… am I sophisticated this week or is it time for something fun and tacky? No, I’m not stoned at the nail salon, I’m just having a full-blown identity crisis.
It got me thinking about those women who have nailed (excuse the pun) their own signature manicure to match their signature look. You won’t catch them having a meltdown in the salon – they just waltz in, all “same again, thanks” and sit back and relax.
I needed to embrace this decisive energy, so I went looking for these women – harder to find in real life, but then I remembered how film and TV characters generally have a signature nail look, and I found all the inspiration I needed.
1. Emily in The Devil Wears Prada
Emily’s rigid style matches her uptight personality, and when it comes to nails (and makeup), the girl loves a jewel-tone. The dark polish against her porcelain skin made her impatient gestures to Andrea even more cutting. She seems to go between three favourites: dark plum, navy, and metallic teal.
2. Ginger in Casino
There was a period in 2020, over the first Covid lock down, when you couldn’t open Instagram without seeing a version of Kylie Jenner’s rainbow french tip manicure. I got over it, and I bet your manicurist did too. Poor thing had to paint your nails with TEN different colours. In the 1995 film Casino, Sharon Stone wears a few different trophy wife talons as Ginger, always squared off and long, but her most iconic red french tips will always be cool – a nod to the classic red, but less maintenance to grow out.
3. Carmela Soprano
No one carried drama through their nails quite like Carmela. Her '90s white squared tip acrylics were the only constant in her chaotic life. I read in Interview magazine that the manicurist for The Sopranos, Maria Salandra, spent a lot of time around real mob wives to get an authentic look for Edie Falco. “In the 1990s, all I did was pink and white acrylic. That’s what all the housewives had. With Carmela, it became iconic. Edie really wasn’t Carmela until she put the nails on.”
4. Lauren Conrad in The Hills
In the heydey of indie sleaze, LC rocked OPI’s Lincoln Park After Dark (and Chanel’s Black Satin varnish) like no other. Whatever LC did with her nails, girls all over America would follow – she was the Hailey Bieber glazed donut of her time. She was so committed to a glossy black mani that she once unintentionally revealed that certain scenes on The Hills were reenacted (shock!). Nail polish-gate ensued after fans clocked her wearing red nails in one scene which mysteriously disappeared later on the same night.
5. Dita von Teese
Ok, not a film character, but as a real life pin-up icon, Dita von Teese is never seen without her cherry red half-moon manicure, filed to a pointed oval. This symbol of Old Hollywood femininity is also seen on Rita in Mulholland Drive, and Taylor Swift in her ‘Bejeweled’ music video.
6. Roxy Ryan in New York Minute
Like most tweens obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley, I was heavily influenced by this film. I wanted to be a cool rebel girl like Roxy (side note: was she literally a groupie?) but my neurotic Virgo tendencies definitely made me a lame Jane. I like to think Roxy’s short red polish was OPI’s Big Apple Red, but I can’t find sources to confirm. Whatever the red, it’s best worn with stacks of black jelly bracelets, carrying a Red Bull or Venti Starbucks.
7. Rose Pamphile in Populaire
I had no idea there was a film about a secretary training for a speed-typing competition in the 1950s, but these nail visuals alone made me want to watch it. Manicurist Thi Thanh Tu Nguyen created the vintage technicolour manicure (all OPI colours) for Rose Pamphile, an integral part of the storyline. To learn to type with all 10 fingers, Rose paints her nails the same colour as the corresponding keys on the typewriter. Genius!
8. Tiffany the receptionist in Total Recall
I love a good beauty moment in an unexpected place. There’s one scene in the 90s sci-fi film Total Recall, where the receptionist played by Alexia Robinson changes the colour of her manicure from blue to red by zapping each nail with her pen. So futuristic!
Seeing this reminded me of the time I got talked into a ‘UV manicure’ that really did change colours, depending on the temperature. It was clearly the latest new toy in the salon at the time, and you best believe my indecisive self was interested. It switched between pale green and dark green, and I went to a party that night and spent the entire time running my hands under hot and cold taps and going up to strangers saying “Wait for it!”
9. Morticia Addams
This can’t be a list about iconic signature nails without Morticia. Every Halloween, her blood-red stiletto talons are copied by people around the world, trying to achieve the scary-yet-sexy appeal of Anjelica Huston. I went dressed up as Morticia once, and I swear it did give me a weird sexual magnetism for the night. It really explains why Gomez is so under her spell.
10. Zoe Kravitz in Catwoman
I’m certain that Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman was on just about every woman’s Halloween mood board this year. According to interviews, it was Kravitz who pitched the idea for her Catwoman claws to director Matt Reeves. She suggested “crazy, b*tchy, wonderful, scary nails that look like claws.” Leaving them unpolished so they seemed more real was key – besides, the busy villainess doesn’t have 30 spare hours to sit in a salon chair like the rest of us.
