Co-chair of the board for Auckland Pride, Kaan Hiini also works as the design director at creative agency Curative which, as he tells it, “uses the tools of creativity to grapple with complex social issues to… amplify the voices of communities across Aotearoa for the betterment of our people.”
Between the two roles, and the emotional investment each require, Hiini has been cognisant of putting self-care structures at the forefront of everything he’s involved with. Sometimes this might look like a team lunch or meditation (“we used to start each week with a 10 minute meditation as a team”), other times a pole dancing class. But it always involves a reciprocal support network of colleagues and friends.
What hours do you work each day?
Generally work at Curative is flexible but runs around a 9am - 5.30pm day. We have a well-established practice of eating lunch away from our desks and tend to do it all together so we can kata (laugh) and kōrero together.
Pride mahi is a little more irregular depending on needs, but adds some time every week for meetings, discussions, reading and feedback for collective decision making.
Do you have set work/life boundaries or do they merge?
I’ve been pretty bad at boundaries in my work life - classic millennial habit of associating my self-worth with my productivity. But I’m making a conscious effort to set clearer boundaries, dictated by need. I just don’t have the energy to continue at the moment, so I’m learning the importance of boundaries and self-care. I’ve got a way to go, but I feel like I’m making progress.
What do you have for breakfast?
Most mornings are pretty light, some fruit or fruit smoothie and black coffee, or if I'm really hungry, some peanut butter Vogel's toast. On the odd occasion if I have a breakfast meeting, a brioche or cheese scone.
Do you have an exercise routine?
Exercise is a key stress relief for me. I aim to [work out] four times a week and prefer evenings after work to act as a release and energiser. I prefer classes with high intensity workouts at Les Mills - so BodyPump or Ceremony, sometimes cycle classes like The Trip. I want something that doesn’t engage my brain too much.
Recently I’ve started a pole dancing class, which is more of a hobby. I’m trying to build in more time for joyous experiences. It’s physically intensive and there’s a fear barrier. Pushing through it is exactly the kind of challenge I need. And there’s a body positivity [angle] too - it’s all about being sexy and that’s quite cool.
Do you use supplements?
No supplements here unless you count Metamucil. I used to take protein powder with my breakfast smoothie but have pulled back from that now and just aim for a healthy range of food.
Whose advice/influence do you genuinely value and listen to when it comes to wellbeing and taking care of yourself?
Being cut off from the social supports I grew up around taught me about the importance of social support; I’ve tried to build strong friendships to help. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and didn't come out until I was in my late twenties.
The structure I grew up in was a very supportive community in some ways. The value of community was made clear, which I appreciated, but I knew that being gay wasn't okay in that space. And I knew that if I was going to come out, I’d be cut off from friends and family that were part of the church. It underlined the importance of connection to me.
I was able to identify that [the church community] was a tool of control and [recognise] the importance of building up those social supports outside of that religious structure.
I rely on my friends a lot to provide advice, act as my guides or just be there for a rant. They’re a smart bunch and I trust them to catch me if I need them, or to tell me to get it together. Recently that’s been very apparent and I can’t thank them enough.
What time do you go to bed at night? Do you sleep soundly?
I tend to sleep at midnight; favouring a later schedule means I don’t switch off till later, but I do sleep soundly. In my early 20s my anxiety really was a problem for sleep, but lately I’ve managed to really easily slip into sleep. And when I can’t switch off, I’ve been using mediation apps or sleep stories via apps like Calm to help.
What do you do in the final hour before bed?
I use TV shows to wind down and turn off my brain. Books seem to wake me up more so I have pulled back a bit. My bad habit at the moment is scrolling TikTok - it's quite addictive being served exactly what you want, and just before sleep spells disaster.
What do you spend on your wellbeing?
The gym is roughly $99 per month, and the pole dancing class is a trial at the moment. I’d also include friend catch ups as an essential part of wellbeing, so dinners, coffee chats, drinks, walks all of that… hard to put a number to.
Tell me about your poop.
As a gay man, let's just say I monitor this carefully. And ensure a high fibre diet maintains a very healthy and regular schedule.
How do you deal with the stress of failure?
As a Virgo, probably not very well. My tendency is to be avoidant and I’m trying to channel that into a healthier response, allowing time to pause and reflect and gain perspective while still working to respect everyone's needs.
Once again I think this comes back to creating strong support networks to help you navigate these stresses. I’m definitely still learning best processes with this one but it does come back to relying on people for help.
And how do you deal with stressed employees, colleagues?
Same deal really, providing space for imperfection and venting, building relationships that can flex when either party is stressed and giving permission to express stress in ways that are respectful. I think Eddy Royal, director of Curative, has provided such great role modelling of this at Curative over the past years, always checking in with us as a group and looking out for our wellbeing.
What do you do for fun?
Events give me a lot of joy, so things like live theatre, art exhibitions, dance and drag, concerts. All of these refresh me, especially with creatively experimental and challenging pieces.
But lately this can often feel like work, so I'm looking for some new outlets - hiking, morning raves, beach swims, or just solo walks and hanging with friends. Sometimes just finding new experiences to throw myself into is enough.
Favourite free stress-buster?
A walk untethered to anything but my own brain is best. No social media, no podcast, just a walk around the waterfront at sunset is simple and effective.
What’s been the biggest change you’ve made when it comes to looking after your health and mental health and wellbeing?
Boundaries. Giving myself permission to step back and turn off is important and a big learning curve for me.
