Last month we put out the call, asking you to tell us how much you really spent on your wedding in an anonymous survey.
The concept of a wedding is wonderfully diverse. We’ve featured celebrations with all kinds of budgets in our Ensemble Weddings series, from BYO backyard affairs to grand multiple-day events. Seeing the highlight reel of someone else's wedding day, it’s natural to want to know how much the whole thing cost. We get it, we’re nosy too. But we also know it can be an awkward question to ask, especially at an event that’s meant to be about love, not money!
While that is (hopefully) true, planning a wedding often comes with social and cultural expectations that can add a lot of financial pressure to the newly engaged. “What was a waste of money in hindsight?” is an unromantic question to ask newlyweds, but very helpful for anyone planning a wedding one day.
So we asked all the nitty gritty questions – about wedding budgets, unexpected costs, biggest purchases and biggest regrets. We had 565 responses! Here’s what we learnt from analysing the data (as best we could; we’re not data journalists).
What’s the wedding budget?
• The majority of people surveyed (75% of respondents) spent less than $25,000 on their wedding.
• Budgets ranged from less than $5000 to over $200,000.
• The most common wedding budget was under $5000 (27% of respondents).
• 7 people (that’s 1.2% of respondents) spent between $75,000 - $100,000 on their wedding.
• Most people stuck to their budget, with 71% of respondents saying they did not exceed what they had planned to spend.
• For those who did go over budget, most spent less than $5000 more than planned. A small percentage (73 people) said they blew their budget by over $5000.
The biggest costs
Catering was by far the biggest wedding day expense for most people. Over half of the respondents (56%) said this was where most of the budget went.
Other big costs were the venue (24% of people), followed by drinks (18% said this was the biggest expense).
Paying for a photographer/videographer was the biggest cost for some couples (13%), while a small percentage (50 people) said their wedding outfits were the biggest spend of the day.
The unexpected costs
“The things you forget to add to the initial budget add up fast,” one respondent said. They certainly weren’t alone. Over 80% of couples surveyed faced unexpected costs, primarily related to venue requirements (like marquees), higher-than-expected catering and alcohol costs, and things like dress alterations and beauty treatments.
A lot of couples said managing the food and alcohol budget was a challenge, due to catering costs exceeding their expectations, or underestimating guest numbers or preferences. “Catering and drinks blew my mind when you start adding it up,” one respondent said.
“I couldn’t believe how much a simple wedding cake cost!" said another.
People also mentioned the unforeseen catering costs that can arise beyond the main wedding reception, such as pre-wedding meals and hosting day-after parties. One person who had a bar tab the next day said, “We only expected to cover beer on the bar (and we supplied the wine) but they had RTDs available too which our guests made the most of!"
Hidden venue-related costs were a major learning curve for many couples, so make sure you do your research on what venues do and don’t provide. One person mentioned, “the cost of a BYO/DIY venue, which we chose to be cost effective. We had to bring in everything.”
Other examples included “realising the minimum $8K catering spend meant $8K for food and $8K for beverage”, the cost of hiring a mandatory marquee (“$9000 but I split it with two brides getting married on weekends either side”), and hiring things like lighting, linen and glassware.
Who’s paying?
More than half of respondents had some help from their families to pay for their wedding. Of those that had help, the couples still paid for “about half or more” of the event themselves.
256 people (45%) said they fronted the bill for everything themselves, as a couple.
Was anything #gifted?
As expected, lots of couples felt the love and generosity from friends and family at their wedding, with 65% of respondents receiving some gifted element.
The most common freebie was cake (75 people), followed by the venue (45 people) being at their own home or home of a friend or family member. Wedding flowers were another common gifted or free element, with some couples foraging for wildflowers themselves, or buying flowers at wholesale and skipping the cost of a florist.
Many couples were thankful for the free “people hours” they received, with talented friends, mums, dads and aunties offering their services – the most common being photography, catering, music and decorating. But tread carefully - a few respondents advised against using family/friends for specialist roles (there were stories of poorly-filmed wedding videos and DJ’s pulling out at the last minute).
The biggest waste of money
Nearly everyone (95% of respondents) said that they wasted money on something at their wedding. The most common things people could have happily done without included expensive flowers, cake, wedding favours, hiring fancy cars and… the amount of people on the guest list.
“Inviting guests I felt obligated to invite rather than actually genuinely wanting to celebrate with,” was one respondent’s biggest money regret.
“Inviting people who we’ve long moved on from,” said another.
“Yep, less people. My husband tried to match my numbers by inviting randoms.”
“Inviting all my husband’s cousins that we never see; double the amount of my family with no contribution from his side financially or physically.” Yikes.
One respondent summed it up well: “The biggest waste of money is anything people won't remember. People remember whether or not they had fun at a wedding, what the vibe was like, who was there, and if the food/drinks were good. It's lovely to have a beautiful well-decorated wedding, but (speaking as someone who's about to celebrate 10 years married) no one talks about our wedding table decorations. They say ‘I had such a good night at your wedding, it was so much fun and you two looked so happy’. The vibe is what matters!”
In hindsight I would have…
Another common thread we noticed from the survey was smug answers from people who chose to elope. In fact, many responded to the question “what would you do differently in hindsight?” saying they wished they had eloped or been a lot stricter with the guest list.
“We eloped and our only costs were flights, accommodation, a dress and two rings,” one person said.
“If we got married today (nine years later), we’d elope like we originally wanted!”
“Elope or have a smaller ceremony. Then have a separate party to celebrate with loved ones. Would’ve cut so many costs and been less stressful.”
“It was a lovely party but if I was to do it again I’d definitely elope, take beautiful photos and have a small beautiful dinner with nearest and dearest.”
“Elope. Spend 10K on a lavish trip for me and my husband. I didn't actually enjoy my wedding very much, just followed what was expected of me/of a wedding, but it wasn’t 'me' enough.”
