It was news that stung sharply. Like citrus in a cut.
Our beloved Grapefruit and Lemon Fruju has been discontinued and without even registering it, we've had our last cheek puckering lick.
Maybe we hadn't noticed the absence from freezers because the unseasonably shitty weather over the summer meant we weren't reliant on their bracing refreshment.
It may have been the least popular of the Fruju flavours, but the girlies that loved those ice blocks really loved them. A pithy cult fave.
In Friday's Metro Eats Henry Oliver accurately called it, "the favourite ice block of people who don't eat many ice blocks but still use their preference for that ice block as a marker of their identity" - guilty as charged.
As Spinoff food editor Charlotte Muru-Lanning wrote in her eDM: "They are to the ice block world what the London Review of Books is to the magazine world – the thinking person’s ice block."
Let's be honest, the lemon wasn't behind their in-the-know popularity. It was the grapefruit.
Sour, sophisticated, almost savoury in its piquancy, grapefruit is the most uplifting and charmingly off kilter of the citrus family. Its influence extends far beyond that of the ice block realm.
It's the dominant flavour that features in the best type of marmalade (itself the best condiment), the best summer cocktails and the best lip balms.
Until TipTop come to their senses / reveal this has been a alarmist marketing ploy, or someone like Nice Blocks who sees the value in capturing a niche but aggressively passionate market segment swoops in, here are the ways I'll be filling the Fruju shaped hole in my heart.
East Imperial Grapefruit Soda, $6
Zoe and Rebecca are big fans of the East Imperial Grapefruit tonic (with gin), but I prefer the soda version. I mix it with tequila it to make Palomas, the cocktail I've incorrectly pegged as about to be the drink of the summer four years in a row (I blame those pesky medication interactions).
Next time you get the urge to drink an Aperol Spritz on a sunny evening, try a Paloma instead.
Borachio Pash Rash Pet Nat
I've seen this South Australian natural wine described as 'frivolous', 'persistently delicious' and as having 'quenchy grapefruit flavours'. What's not to love? Maybe the fact that I cannot find anywhere that stocks it in New Zealand. I bought back a bottle from Melbourne last year, one bottle was not enough.
Laneige Lip Glowy Balm in Grapefruit, $28
I have and love the tub version of this deeply soothing lip balm, but the tube version is infinitely easier and mess-free way to apply.
Peripera Ink Airy Velvet in #07 Heart Grapefruit, $15
My go-to for a softly blurred pout the exact shade of a freshly cut ruby red grapefruit, with none of the stickiness.
Cire Trudon Ernesto candle 270g, $149
The fragrance notes of this vegetable wax candle notes paint the scene of a hideous speakeasy themed bar: Havana, cigars, leather, bergamot, grapefruit, moss and rum. In reality it smells much less abrasive, though still unmistakably heady.
DS & Durga Grapefruit Generation EDP, $328
An experimental (slightly weird) fragrance inspired by Yoko Ono's conceptual art book, this is a bitterly trippy citrus scent tinged with notes of silky musk, tuberose and cork.
Each DS & Durga scent has a corresponding Spotify playlist: Grapefruit Generation features tracks by the likes of Nico, Cate Le Bon and Brian Eno.
Set of four grapefruit spoons, $70
The habit of a grapefruit for breakfast has been fairly marred by an adjacency to diet culture. But there's a tactile allure to any food that that comes with its own slightly kitsch eating implement, like those surgical tools you're given to eat lobster in a fancy restaurant.
Lots of foods (boiled eggs, ice cream) taste better eaten with a teaspoon and these ones have those adorably but also sort of threatening serrated edges.
Lothlorien Orchard Poormans Orange Juice, $12
Incredible label, incredible juice, terrible name.
Aesop Rind Concentrate Body Balm, $50
I generally associate body balms and butters with the type of cloyingly rich creams long suffering wives are always rubbing diligently into their elbows in American movies.
While still intensely hydrating, the lotion in this expensive tube is so assertively citrus forward that it takes on an invigorating quality rather than living in the domain of a wind down ritual. Apply as soon as you get out of shower on a groggy morning and let it pep you into an awake state.
Byebyebad Prebiotic Handwash, $18
The grapefruit gods giveth with one hand(wash) and taketh away with the other. Actually scented with yuzu and mandarin, I was sent this product last week and the first thing I said when trying it was, 'this smells like a grapefruit Fruju.' There is truly no higher praise.
