This story is from Stuff

Jacinda Ardern left Parliament with a message on leadership, revealing her personal anxiety and the impact stress of leading Labour and the Government had on her.

“I cannot determine what will define my time in this place, but I do hope I’ve demonstrated something else entirely,” she said.

“You can be anxious, sensitive, kind, and wear your heart on your sleeve. You can be a mother, or not. You can be an ex-Mormon, or not. You can be a nerd, a crier, a hugger. You can be all of these things.”

During her final speech in Parliament, the former prime minister urged politicians to “take the politics out of climate change”.

She canvassed the greatest challenges she faced as New Zealand’s 40th prime minister, including responding to the Whaakari-White Island eruption, the March 15 terror attack, working with the families of Pike River, and governing during the pandemic.

Pike River families, members of the Muslim community, former prime ministers, and Ardern’s family and former staff gathered in the public gallery to see her final speech.

Ardern said it was an “honour” to get to know Pike River family advocates, such as Anna Osborne and Sonya Rockhouse, who she said were now friends. Osborne, who lost her husband Milton, and Rockhouse, who lost her son Ben, smiled and waved from the public gallery.

There were tears. Ardern choked up as she farewelled Parliament, having recounted her struggle to have a child due to the stress of her job and then speaking about the message she hoped to have sent through her own leadership style.

Her former chief of staff, Raj Nahna, shed tears as Ardern thanked him for being there throughout many of the most difficult moments during her prime ministership.

Ardern’s daughter, Neve, waved from the public gallery at her and former deputy prime minister Grant Robertson.

Ardern thanked those who helped look after Neve, who was born during Ardern’s first year as prime minister.

“There is no question I have had incredible support to be the mother I wanted to be,” she said.

“I leave knowing I was the best mother I could be. You can be that person, and you can be here.”

Ardern spoke about how she never thought she’d have a child having entered politics at a young age, just 28 when the median age of Parliament is 47 years old.

“I had not long experienced a failed IVF round when I became leader of the Labour Party,” she said.

“I thought that I found myself on a path that meant I would never be a mother. Rather than process that, I campaigned to become prime minister.”

She discussed how doctors told her that her stress levels were impacting her ability to have a baby, and said her anxiety before Question Time at 2pm often meant she was unable to eat all morning.

She started her valedictory speech with a focus on climate change, reiterating her belief that it was her generation’s “nuclear-free moment”.

She said it had been, and would continue to be, a “defining” issue of modern politics.

She discussed the “cold sweat” of governing during Covid-19, and the threat disinformation and conspiracies posed to democracy.

Ardern recalled calling fiancé Clarke Gayford when the Delta variant arrived. “Code red,” she told Gayford, meaning he had to immediately find Neve and pack their bags for a move to Wellington.

When they returned to Auckland after the lockdown, her daughter Neve asked where the bathroom was in their house. They’d been away for months.

“We didn’t always get it right. I didn’t always get it right. But we were always motivated by the right things,” Ardern said.

Former prime ministers Helen Clark and Geoffrey Palmer​, as well as former minsters Annette​ King– introduced as Neve’s “favourite aunty” –​ and Tracey Martin, joined a crowded debating chamber and public gallery to see Ardern’s valedictory speech.

Ardern arrived wearing a korowai and waved to her whānau before beginning her address.

She resigned as prime minister in January, after five years leading Labour and the Government. When she first told Gayford she was thinking of leaving politics, she recalled his reply: “I think you should stay.”

“Thank you for keeping my cup full and personally enduring so much rubbish,” she told him during the speech.

“You always have my back, you’re also a fighter.”

Since resigning, Ardern has been the MP for Mt Albert and has spent weeks sorting through papers, shipping off documents to the archives and memorabilia to Te Papa.

On Tuesday, she attended her final Labour caucus meeting and by Wednesday her portrait had been hung up alongside other former prime ministers in the Speaker’s hallway.

When she departs Parliament, Ardern has two jobs lined up. She will volunteer as a special envoy for the Christchurch Call, reporting to Prime Minister Chris Hipkins on the progress being made to counter violent extremism on social media.

She will also work alongside Prince William, as a trustee of his climate change charity, the Earthshot Prize.

Ardern said she asked Hipkins, when he became prime minister, if she could continue to work on the Christchurch Call.

On Tuesday, he announced her appointment as a special envoy – and said she had declined to be paid to do the role.

New Zealand was “in good hands” with Chris Hipkins as prime minister, Ardern said during her speech.