This story was originally published in the Ensemble style section in Sunday magazine
A friend of mine in her 50s asked my advice recently about changes to her skin brought about by menopause. She had used the same skincare regime for many years and while she was comfortable with the concept of ageing (and is opposed to Botox and other such treatments), she wished to find products that could address the serious changes her skin was currently undergoing.
It struck me that yes, our skin goes through massive change as we age, and while all the cosmetic treatment and creams can’t change what is happening at a hormonal level, there are things we can do to address the change on a cellular level – where the priority need not be “stopping” the process but rather making us more comfortable with it. I know that ever since I started perimenopause I feel like I could bath in oil, and my skin feels like it is very grateful I have noticed that.
Ageing is odd. Undoubtedly better than the alternative, but it’s a very public display of something we’ve been taught to fear.
Injectables aren’t my thing but I certainly dye my hair. Heck, I’ve even started dying my increasingly grey eyebrows. The tone of my hair is changing and with it the tone of my face. I’m often reminded of occasions over the years when I’d colour my dark hair various shades of red and burgundy; I’d have to push everything I knew about makeup to the side and start again. And on the subject of makeup, suddenly less is more. Not because I care about buying into tropes of what is acceptable to someone “my age”, but because makeup sits differently on my skin. Again, there’s no right or wrong with this, it’s just an adjustment.
If you’ve ever learnt meditation you’ll be familiar with the concept of acknowledging a rogue thought, and letting it go. This is the approach I try to bring to ageing. In a world where we’ve been conditioned to believe that every sign of getting older is a step towards obsolescence, we need to acknowledge changes to our physical appearance with compassion, and release them without judgment.
I am 45, the very definition of middle age. So not old, despite society doing its best to make me feel that way.
I love makeup and am obsessed with skincare. That doesn’t make me a bad feminist. But I do refuse to consume media that doesn’t represent me and my needs, and those that choose to use shame and fear to sell products. That’s a privilege I have as someone with disposable income and free will.
We are all ageing. I am choosing to do so with fun and curiosity and encourage you to do the same.
Products I’ve purchased and personally love:
Aleph Beauty Concealer/Foundation, $60
Trilogy Rosehip Transformation Cleansing Oil, $35
Bobbi Brown Full Coverage Face Brush, $95
Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair 75ml, $258
Skinceuticals C E Ferulic 30ml, $349
