There is something enticing about a good RTD. For a price between $15 and $30, depending on the size, you can get a drink that has a reliable taste and ABV, and will unlikely get you too sloshed across the night. These RTDs run the gamut from old reliable (Gordon’s G&T) to new reliable (Pals), ones liable to make you a mess (Codys) to fun new experiments on a summer afternoon (Albas).

But there’s a new contender in the RTD game: White Claw Hard Seltzer. It comes in packs of four, a very reasonable 4.5% ABV and depending on the chaos of your local liquor store, can probably be found somewhere near any of the aforementioned RTDs (although isn’t anything an RTD if you’re ready-to-drink enough?).

The three flavours currently available in New Zealand are Natural Lime (as opposed to Unnatural Lime, I suppose), Raspberry and Mango. If it truly takes off over here, we could be introduced to as many as 29 flavours, including ridiculous sounding flavours and variants like Tropical Pomelo Smash, Wildberry Acai Smash, Limon with a hint of Calamansi but also less exciting flavours like Tangerine and Blackberry.

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You might have already heard of the brand, given its wild success since launching in the United States eight years ago. Within just a few years, it accounted for half of all hard seltzer in the country, inspiring headlines like “Why Are People So Obsessed with White Claw?”, “Dudes Love White Claw” and “Why This is the Summer of White Claw”. It also had a massive surge in July of 2020, with its sales increasing 249% in the United States. Now, what could have possibly been happening in 2020 that made people want to drink? Anyway!

Its success is likely because it strikes the tricky balance between being a drink that is alcoholic, unlikely to get you very drunk but still tastes like something, while not tasting too much like something. It’s never the star of the show; it’s the Paul Williams to Jeremy Wells’ Taskmaster, the Shortland Street reception desk to the Shortland Street receptionist, Sonny to Cher. You get me.

Many headlines around the time attributed its success to its marketing, which had the revolutionary angle of featuring conventionally attractive people looking like they’re having fun while enjoying the product, something which has never been done in the history of marketing, and definitely not in the history of marketing alcoholic beverages. 

I’d argue that its success is not due to its confusing slogan, “Grab Life by the Claw”, which is advice that is likely only applicable when someone is offering you a White Claw as opposed to say, looking at animals at the zoo.

But how does this beverage that took the States by storm actually taste?

Before trying White Claw, I asked a few American friends on my favourite Discord channel what their opinions on the drink were, and received this:

“If you’re at a daytime party and there’s White Claw nobody will be mad.”

“White Claws were never my fave.”

“I took a sip of the Black Cherry White Claw I had bought because it was the only flavour they sold and it was like drinking fizzy Robitussin.”

Notably, however, White Claw is made with a beer base in the United States, while here it is made with a vodka base. This is likely due to the proliferation of malt liquor in the US, which has never quite made it big over here. Our stomachs, livers, and national plumbing system are likely the beneficiaries of its lack of popularity. (I assume the vodka base is also the reason for it being low calorie, but if you’re drinking alcohol to cut down on calories, may I suggest water instead?)

I’ll be honest, I enjoyed my White Claw experience, having now sampled all three flavours. Natural Lime has the best kick, and is the most refreshing of the three flavours. Raspberry has a bit too much of an anise-y taste to be truly refreshing, and Mango is pleasant enough but could be more accurately titled Mangetreadytogo.

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On each can, the cardboard packaging reads, “sparkling water with alcohol and a hint of natural flavour”. Has the word “hint” ever been so aptly applied? The beverage tastes fairly close to a hearty half-half mixture of sparkling water and vodka, with a “hint” of what it might taste like if someone squeezed the appropriate fruit in the other room and some got into the can by accident.

Which is to say that it tastes pretty good! A little bit more flavourful than a Pals, which can often taste like the homoeopathic version of itself, but not as flavourful (or sugarful) as the RTDs that have flooded the market since well before I was of drinking age. As with all RTDs, especially those of the less flavourful nature, they are, in the words of OutKast, best enjoyed cooler than cool: ice cold.

If you have a favourite RTD (or do not mess with RTDs in general, in which case, respect), then White Claw is highly unlikely to dethrone your drink of choice. But if you’re wanting to try something new? It’s worth the $16, give or take, that you’ll pay for a four pack. And in this day and age, when your jaded eye crosses the sickly lighting of the liquor store fridges, some novelty is worth $16, isn’t it?