It’s tricky to get ya freak on. A recent trans Tasman sex survey by ATMS showed that only 16 percent of women orgasm during sex. That survey was before Cardi B's 'WAP' dropped.
'WAP' is a glorious celebration of women with agency talking about the sex they want, coupled with an epic music video that adheres to social distancing rules.
The music world is notorious for racism, sexism and misogyny, which makes Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s latest single even more remarkable. In it, they flip the cultural narrative which often reduces black women's bodies into derogatory sexualised stereotypes, and transform it into an anthem of raw, female sexual energy. It is a fucken joy to behold.
The world however, seems to be divided into those who can handle it and to misquote Beyonce, “can’t handle it”.
One of the main ways of restricting a woman’s right to pleasure is to make her fear her own body and make her feel ashamed. Maybe this is why so many female artists, despite singing about their own pleasure, frame the visual representation in their accompanying videos around a male gaze. Maybe it’s because their producers are men, maybe it’s about money? Maybe it’s all of this. Most likely it's the capitalist patriarchal culture we live in which makes igniting a liberating rebellion super hard.
Plus, women’s sexuality is crack for internet trolls. Cries of ‘Too Explicit!”, ’This is what happens when children are raised without God’ and ‘Disgusting’ have been levelled at Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion. The odds are stacked against us.
We have a long way to go before people, including ourselves as women, stop being deeply terrified by female arousal. Nadya Tolokonnikova (founder of Pussy Riot) says, “As women we can’t fight objectification as long as we think that our bodies are less than our brains”. It is great to see the female response to 'WAP' has largely been overwhelmingly positive since its premiere.
Is 'WAP' a PSA? Yes. Is it perfect? No, of course not. But Cardi B’s refusal to reduce sex to solely pleasing men and reaffirm her own desires is a revolutionary act. She eschews monogamy (more of this please) and forces us all to question our reactions to her music. And she is not alone. Cardi B joins the canon of female artists who have invited us into their bedrooms and who celebrate having the horn.
Here are 22 of some the best female bedroom bangers to help get you through lockdown:
In 1983, Cyndi Lauper’s 'She Bop' reached number three on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart. While my 9-year-old self thought it was about dancing, turns out it was a call to arms/fannies for more masturbation! Fun fact: Cyndi has since confessed she was naked and “tickling herself” while recording the song - also check the reference to beefcake magazine in the music video. Hawt.
‘How Many Licks?’ by Lil Kim epitomised raunchy rap in 2000, with the video and song receiving plenty of analysis (positive and negative) of its portrayal of sexuality and beauty standards. Lil Kim is a fan of Cardi B, saying in January that “She has the crown” as the queen of rap - and there are plenty of Lil Kim references in the WAP video too.
'I Touch Myself' by Divinyls. Self-explanatory.
'Shoop' by Salt-N-Pepa is a brilliant running commentary of a hookup. Lyrics include "I'm not shy so I asked for the digits / Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks / Not falling in love but I'm falling for your (super sperm)." It does indeed make me want to ‘shoop’.
Pretty much everything from Missy Elliot - which a special mention going out to 'Work it'. “Sex me so good I need a glass of wah ta.” We’ve all been there. Even if it is only in our dreams. Scores high on the horn scale…
Speaking of... 'Oops (Oh My)' by Tweet featuring Missy also deserves a self love inclusion.
Back when assless chaps were a music video item du jour and female empowerment meant Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie larging it up in lap dancing clubs, Christina Aguilera released ‘Dirrty. “It’s about time for my arrival.” YES. More of this.
'Teeth' by Lady Gaga - a song about consensual BDSM.
While ‘Pynk’ is the obvious choice, I’m putting in a plug for 'Make Me Feel' by Janelle Monáe. Great to see something other than hetero sex making an appearance in pop.
The Donna’s version of Billy Idol’s 'Dancing With Myself'. It took me a while to actually ‘get’ this one but woah, okay. Got it.
'Side to Side' by Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj. What’s not to like about an all-day sex session? Especially a consensual one where female pleasure is not an afterthought but a priority. And they are in a spin class: get fit and fuck! Wondering about whose gaze the music video is for though.
'Feeling Love' by Paula Cole gives WAP a run for its money on the gushing front. A slow jam with this fabulous lyric, "You make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs". Umm yes, please.
'Fever' by Peggy Lee. Kudos to Peggy for singing about ‘the fever’ in 1958.
'Hit It Hard' by Peaches. HOT. Totally Hot. Dirty and outrageous. Peaches is my hero and these lyrics tell it like it is. "Wanna get you home want make you moan / Wanna get you in my pleasure dome / Wanna make it hot / Get your pistol cocked."
'Milkshake' by Kelis. This one goes out to all the DD’s and beyond. Kelis gets it. I for one, feel seen.
'BOB' by Macy Gray. Basically a song about how much she loves her vibrator. And OMG, check out the cartoon dildos.
'Because the Night' by Patti Smith (covering Bruce Springsteen). Highbrow stuff for the wank bank.
'Like A Virgin' by Madonna. We are, after all, talking about the women who brought the world SEX (the book) and who has often been criticised for her commitment to her sexuality. LAV is a great coming of age track which still resonates 30 years later, IMO.
Everything by Prince. A friend of mine said everything she knows about being horny, she learnt from Prince. I agree, so while he is not a woman he gets a masturbatory mention.
'My Neck My Back' by Khia. The guide book on oral sex. It is 10 years old but I’d say it’s even more explicit than WAP. The peak of the form.
'Pull Up to the Bumper' by Grace Jones. Umm hello... Drive it in between.
And my personal favourite, 'Boys' by Lizzo - WHY. LIMIT. YOURSELF??
Hit play on Spotify (NSFW but definitely suitable for WFH):
