Getting married was never on the priorities list for Carolyn Wadey-Barron and Roimata Taimana (Te Kawarau ā Maki, Te Rarawa, Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Huarere, Ngāti Hei), but as we’ve heard from many couples in our weddings series, what starts as an admin necessity ends up being a beautiful excuse to throw a big party in the name of love.
“Roimata and I had been together for about five years when we got engaged,” says Carolyn. “I had always said I didn’t want to get married and told him not to ever propose to me. One day we were texting each other about some forms I was having trouble filling in and I said, this would just be much easier if we were married. Roimata asked if this was my way of proposing and I said, yes I think it is!”
A couple of weeks later over a family brunch, Roimata asked Carolyn’s parents for their permission to marry her. “Everyone cried into their eggs bene, except for my youngest niece who wasn’t listening as she had tuned out all the boring adult talk,” she jokes.
“We had a really hard couple of years and just really wanted something good to happen, and realised that a wedding could be that good thing to pull us out of the doldrums and celebrate the amazing life we have together.”
Being resourceful and having an amazing network of friends, family and neighbours keen to pitch in for their wedding helped keep the event not only budget-friendly, but Earth friendly too.
“We live in the Blue Fridge Valley in the Coromandel, which is a collection of properties nestled in regenerated bush. Next to our house there’s a clearing on a slope and a few years ago we realised it would make a great natural amphitheatre, so Roimata built a stage at the bottom of the clearing. We strung up some fairy lights, borrowed music equipment from mates and started hosting semi-regular music festivals,” explains Carolyn. It was therefore a total no-brainer to have the wedding at their home, in the ready-made venue.
Trying to keep a small footprint, they asked guests not to buy new clothes for their “shaggy casual Coromandel wedding” and they shopped extensively for Earth-friendly plates, cutlery and cups.
“The request to not buy new clothes was also partly because we knew if it rained the whole event could turn into a mud pit – having seen my sister’s dry cleaning bill for the dress and jacket she wore, it was a good call!”
Heels were advised against, and there was no dress code besides ‘wear what you would be comfortable in for a picnic-style meal on the ground’.
Doing away with formalities like table settings and a bridal table (and shoes, for Roimata) meant the whole day was in tune with their relaxed, fuss-free lifestyle.
One of the few new purchases for the day was Carolyn’s wedding dress, found online from LA-based label Doen. “I was aiming for a vibe that said 1960s French milkmaid, which I think I achieved! I wore brown platform Kate Sylvester sandals that looked beautiful with the broderie anglaise at the bottom of the dress, but they came off straight after the ceremony so I could romp around in bare feet.”
“Roimata drove to Auckland with the express purpose of buying pants for the wedding and came home with a new pair of jean shorts, and as he only owns Doc Martens and jandals, the bare feet paired well with the shorts,” says Carolyn.
The couple’s dear friend and next door neighbour Felicity, who also happens to be a professional photographer, hosted friends and family for pre-wedding bubbles and snacks while Carolyn and her makeup artist (another talented friend) got ready in the bedroom. “Having a photographer we know and love made the whole thing easy and chill - we knew we were in good hands.”
Carolyn was also completely assured in the hands of Lissa, “my darling best friend who flew home from Australia for the wedding. She has done my makeup thousands of times (we flatted together for a decade) and I just wanted simple and glowy and that was what I got. Before the ceremony she wrapped me up in a big hug and asked me if I felt beautiful, which I did. She also kept giving me touch ups throughout the day which was wonderful,” she says.
Carolyn’s sister (and Ensemble co-founder) Rebecca leant her a black Caitlin Snell bow clip that she fastened into her hair seconds before the ceremony started. “It became my ‘something borrowed’ but I was gutted to have to give it back!”
Yet another neighbour made the bridal bouquet, which included foraged flowers from their valley. “My dear friend Nedilka also made a collar for our dog Esme, using the same flowers. Having our dog in the ceremony was maybe 10% cringe but she seemed to love it and otherwise she would have been locked up in the house which seemed too mean.”
It was really important for the couple to include te ao Māori traditions in their wedding. When the ceremony started, Roimata’s sisters performed a karanga, with one of them standing with him at the altar on stage, and the other walking with Carolyn and her family.
“As we got near the altar, Roimata began to perform a haka, and Esme started barking along with him like she was doing it too. It was so unexpected, and Esme was so funny that I had to laugh. I hate having all eyes on me, and it drew the attention to Roimata which made me feel completely relaxed and I knew then I could sail through the ceremony. The haka is not supposed to have a calming effect but when you see a fierce tane doing it while his little dog yaps alongside him, it’s pretty funny.”
“When I saw my beautiful bride coming down the aisle I was just overwhelmed,” says Roimata. “I turned to my sister and said, ‘do you think it’s haka time?’ and she said ‘yip’. When Esme joined in it was beautiful and it just made sense that she would be part of it.”
Their wedding celebrant Denise was also someone Carolyn knew well: she was the celebrant for both of her sister’s weddings too, “so it was touching to have an ‘aunty’ be the one to marry us, and she was stoked that she got to complete the whole set of sisters.”
The couple exchanged rings they had made for each other out of Tī Kouka fronds, plaiting the fibres and sewing the ends together. “We live in an area famous for standing up to gold mining companies so we always knew there wouldn’t be any gold rings!” says Carolyn laughing. “I am getting a manuka flower tattoo on my ring finger soon (all jewellery irritates my skin) and Roimata will get a silver band made from a ring my nana gave me.”
“Roimata is a singer/songwriter who usually makes up songs as he goes, kind of like freestyle rap but with singing. Instead of writing vows he sang a song about our love being a circle that we both live in,” says Carolyn.
While the rain magically held off for the ceremony, it bucketed down right after, turning their plans of a sunny picnic dinner into a muddy Glastonbury. “My mum had sewed dozens of cushions made from coffee sacks, donated by more incredible neighbours, Coffee LaLa, for people to sit on, and we had borrowed picnic rugs off all of our friends. Due to the rain though, people stood under trees or under the couple of small marquees we had, dashing through the rain to load up their plates or top up their drinks.
“There were a few skids and accidents, and we are still finding mud in the house, but everyone seemed to still have a great time! There were lots of kids there and they made a mudslide and then later went off into the bush to go eeling.”
Hangi was always going to be on the menu, but as Carolyn doesn’t eat meat they also had plant-based options. While Roimata’s whanau expertly took care of the hangi (started the day before, with whanau prepping into the night) friends at Blue Ginger in Whitianga delivered a spread of bao buns, smoked kahawai wontons and a special sushi based on Carolyn’s favourite dish of tofu hawker rolls.
“Another neighbour, Adam from Blue Fridge Brewery, set us up with a keg of beer and a keg of his incredible ginger beer for non-drinkers. We filled our dinghy with ice to hold the usual wines and RTDs.”
There was no shortage of celebratory treats: eight dozen oysters and a sack of mussels was the wedding gift from a friend at the Coromandel Oyster Company. “It was fun watching people’s eyes light up when they saw how many oysters there were. As Roimata is deathly allergic to shellfish it also added some excitement into the mix,” jokes Carolyn.
Then there was the serious matter of cake. “I used to be a baker, and I think that cake never gets its dues at weddings. It usually comes out when everyone is full and drunk, and you see dozens of paper plates sitting around sadly with one bite taken out of the cake slices. The most important thing about the wedding to me was that the cake had to come out straight after the ceremony. This also gave Roimata a chance to do a karakia kai while everyone was gathered together.”
Friend and baking mentor Jessie (who introduced the couple years ago) looked after the epic cake table, kept hidden behind a sheet until after the ceremony when it was revealed to everyone's delight.
“I’m pretty sure we both squealed when the sheet came down, we couldn’t believe how many kinds of cakes, tarts, cookies and cupcakes Jessie had made and piled up on this gorgeous table.” Carolyn’s plan worked too well though - despite the impressive spread of baking it was hoovered up in minutes. “Luckily Jessie thought to quickly put some slices aside for us or we wouldn’t even have had a chance to try any of it!”
“It’s really hard to say how much our wedding cost as we were gifted so much from friends and whanau,” says Carolyn. “We had always thought that weddings were just the celebration of love between two people, but we felt the love from our community of friends and whanau just as much as we felt our love for each other. It was so humbling to see how many people helped us.”
At about midnight, when everyone had gone home and it was just the two of them left, the newlyweds sat down at the table to eat the two remaining slices of wedding cake. “It was a very sweet moment, looking back at the day and eating cake. A perfect end to the day.”
