While ‘wellness’ has become a loaded buzzword in recent years, and one that is linked to feeling ‘less than’ to keep us on the hamster wheel of buying, we all still want to feel good. Enter Well and Truly, a column that believes wellness should be a buffet that caters to all rather than a set menu – leave what you don’t like, take what appeals and come back for seconds for the things that work for you.
The Kindness Institute founder Kristina Cavit works with marginalised communities and youth who face stress and trauma, teaching them to have compassion and kindness for themselves.
“From all the different people I've worked with around the world - woman in prison, victims of sex trafficking, kids dealing with huge amounts of adversity - those who are able to thrive, have that one thing in common, that they can meet their thoughts with kindness, and a sense of acceptance” explains Kristina, who in 2018 was named a Member of the New Zealand Order of Merit for services to youth and community.
Kristina’s also the co-founder of Fat Yoga (alongside Lost & Led Astray’s Sarah-Jane Duff) and is committed to practical strategies for dealing with stress and trauma.
As she tells it, “I’m probably naturally one of the least mindful people you'll ever meet. I cannot sit still, meditation felt like torture. It’s hard!”
For those wishing to start a mindfulness journey she suggests starting small.
“Even with three breaths a day, or two minutes a day of being present. Because when we're present, the research shows us, is when we're happiest. I think we all want a little bit more joy in our lives, so why not give it a go?”
What do you do for a living?
I’m the Founder of The Kindness Institute which supports rangatahi to transform their own hauora through mindfulness and mental health kaupapa.
I spend my days helping people to take care of their own hauora and mental health - I love my mahi.
I teach Mindfulness, resilience and emotional intelligence to rangatahi, schools, businesses and amazing communities.
I recently had the honour of designing 31 meditations for the first ever national Mindfulness Month campaign, in partnership with the Mental Health Foundation.
Over 3000 of us practised Mindfulness together each day in August, and we fundraised over $90k for mental health in Aotearoa - it was a dream kaupapa!
Do you have an exercise routine?
I’m a fat yoga teacher, I can’t do a headstand and I don’t give a shit! I LOVE teaching and practising fat positive yoga, and I’m privileged to support people to find body peace.
I first tried yoga as a kid. [I remember] my mum taking me along and hating it. And later I dabbled in it when I needed something to manage my own challenges. And so I went to a yoga ashram and that's when I really fell in love with it. Even though I was the biggest person in the room, the least athletic and totally out of my depth. It didn't matter. It was a place where I could be safe.
[Yoga’s] got a stereotype of being inaccessible. I'm trying to break down that stereotype. Yoga is an indigenous practise. It was designed as a survival tool, and that's what we're using it as.
Whose advice/influence do you genuinely value and listen to when it comes to wellbeing and taking care of yourself?
The ones I listen to are those who encourage me to put my hauora first. I’m grateful to have advice from friends, whānau and teachers who encourage me to value whānaungatanga and connection over success.
I’m so grateful to Sir Mason Durie and the ATAWHAI whānau for teaching me about Te Whare Tapa Whā and the importance of balancing all four pillars of health - mental, physical, spiritual and social.
Some of my favourite teachers who share awesome Mindfulness whakaaro are the boys at Holistic Life Foundation, Byron Katie and Tara Brach.
What pillar of life causes you the most stress - work, family, finances, health?
I was sick for 11 years until I was diagnosed with endometriosis. It took 11 years of misdiagnosis and my entire savings, seeing every specialist from both sides of the medical world - Western medicine and more holistic medicine.
Endo wasn't on people's radar for my symptoms because my periods were regular. When I finally got diagnosed, I was relieved but also really gutted, that it had taken that long. I can advocate for myself, do research and ask questions - I'm really privileged to be able to do that, and I still wasn’t able to get the right answers. And then when I got the diagnosis, not being able to get sufficient funded support.
So I'm really passionate about the government needing to step up to take women's health seriously and to take endometriosis seriously. There needs to be wraparound care.
I do my best to manage it through diet, exercise, meditation, rest, therapy and talking with people I love. A big part of managing when I’m having a flare is trying not to catastrophise. It’s bloody hard, but when I can meet my stressful thoughts with the same kindness that I would give to a good friend, I know I’m on the right track.
By tracking my cycle, I’ve realised that there’s certain times of the month where it’s hard to do anything. I need to have strong boundaries at this time and give myself permission to rest and to say no. I’m learning that it’s okay not to be productive all the time.
Do you use supplements? If so, what?
CBD oil has been the main thing that has supported my endometriosis, and I’m so grateful to have access to it.
I also take a multivitamin, magnesium and vitamin D to support my hormones throughout the month.
What do you do in the final hour before bed?
The final hour before bed is often my only downtime in the day. It’s so precious! I try to hang out with my partner.
Before I fall asleep I think of 3 things that I am grateful for from that day - I find it impossible to be stressed and grateful at the same time
What do you do for fun?
Get into the moana, laugh with good friends, head to the Hokianga with my partner or dance to reggaeton with my 14-month-old daughter.
Favourite free stress-buster?
Te ha - taking five deep slow breaths. Breathing in I expand my rib cage and breathing out, I imagine growing a little taller. This simple activity has the power to change my whole day.
What’s been the biggest change you’ve made when it comes to looking after your health and mental health and wellbeing?
Practising the work of Byron Katie and Mindfulness has had a huge impact on my hauora. In challenging times, I remind myself that thoughts are not facts and ask myself “what if it all works out?”
It was incredibly liberating to realise that no one really has their shit together! Because I’m a Mindfulness educator and mental health advocate, sometimes people think that I’m always calm and happy.
But I have lots of challenging days and that’s normal. The pressure to feel good can actually lead to poorer health outcomes.
There’s so much nonsense in the wellness world and instead of perfecting ourselves, I’m interested in being OK with where I’m at. Being gentle with myself is where the magic happens.
