Growing up, my parents would often jokingly refer to me as a ‘shopaholic’. To be fair, I was a total spendthrift, and all the money I earned from my part-time job would be blown on clothing, shoes, bags and makeup. Now I’m 30, I’m in a much better place with shopping. When I feel like adding something to my wardrobe, I take weeks to consider whether I really need it (sometimes months) and I always sell an item I already own to fund a new wardrobe addition and minimise my consumption.

But from working in the fashion industry for over a decade, I’m intimately familiar with how all-consuming the desire for newness can be, and I know shopping too much is something many people struggle with. Research suggests the easy accessibility of online shopping and the climate of extreme consumerism we exist in may be leading to an increasing number of people struggling with shopping addiction, also known as oniomania or compulsive buying disorder. 

So what differentiates someone who loves to shop from someone with an actual shopping addiction? To find out, I spoke to Sara Chatwin, an Auckland-based psychologist and social commentator. 

“Like any addiction, shopping addiction tends to be when people get addicted to how their brain feels while they're shopping. As they shop their brain releases endorphins and dopamine. So it might be a person who likes shopping but they take it to the next level so it becomes a need. It's almost like a compulsion – it's when people develop that sense or that feeling that they just need more,” she explains. 

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Shopping addicts will compulsively buy to generate these positive feelings, but also to avoid distressing feelings like depression and anxiety. 

If this behaviour sounds familiar to you, Sara says that it can sometimes be difficult to determine whether you or someone you know just loves to shop or is actually struggling with compulsive buying. “A lot of people love shopping and they do it for many reasons. Some people do it to de-stress, some people do it because they like buying things for others. It's important to note that having a little shopping spree every once in a while does not mean you're an addict but there are a few signs and symptoms that if you're looking for somebody with a shopping addiction you could look for,” she says.

The first sign is whether you or someone you know is spending more than you can afford. If you’re constantly maxing out your credit cards, accruing mountains of debt and using buy-now-pay-later apps without a second thought, it might be time to pause and take stock. 

Another sign is if your shopping starts causing you immense feelings of guilt and shame, and if you find yourself hiding how much you’re shopping from friends and loved ones. 

“An addiction is something that is often covert and it is often something that elicits guilt within a person. It’s something that somebody tries to hide and it really derails a stable lifestyle. There are also physical symptoms of it; people might be online buying till all hours of the morning so there might be extreme tiredness. Or there might be a nervousness, some physical signs that people are acting and reacting in this way that doesn't actually make them feel good,” says Sara. 

‍How compulsive buying can impact your life

For Gianna*, a 22-year-old who struggles with compulsive buying, there’s a clear link between her emotional state and her shopping habits. “I haven’t been officially diagnosed with a ‘shopping addiction’, but for a long time, I have discussed with my psychologist how my emotional dysregulation can result in impulsive or compulsive behaviours, one of which is spending money and shopping. I’ve struggled to feel like I have control over my emotional spending,” she says. 

Often, Gianna feels like she ‘needs’ certain items or just ‘needs’ to spend money, but this desire also elicits immense shame. “There’s so much shame that I don’t hear spoken about all that much. I often feel like I ‘need’ certain things but feel so desperately ashamed of my family, friends or partner finding out that I’ve bought more stuff or spent more money.” 

On top of the emotional impact, there are the financial implications people like Gianna have to deal with. “I’ve never owned a credit card or used Afterpay etc because I don’t want or need a credit card and I know that a ‘buy now, pay later’ app would genuinely end disastrously for me. But I have overspent or borrowed money that I shouldn’t have,” she says. 

Sara says that shopping addiction, particularly when left untreated, can be a vicious cycle. “It can lead to people facing financial problems, feeling burnt out and becoming overwhelmed with debt. People just max out their credit cards and then they have to take out other loans and mortgages. If they aren't making payments then their credit score is questionable.” 

Shopping addiction can also put pressure on your family members, friendships and romantic relationships, too. “When people question your shopping or question your buying – perhaps people see you fronting up with different garments and they start asking questions – that can put you under pressure. You can distance yourself from relationships. There are so many implications if you let something like this go unchecked and creep into that zone of addiction,” she says. 

‍Treating shopping addiction and ‘shopaholicism’

While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to treating shopping addiction, Sara suggests seeking out a registered psychologist if you’re spending more than you can afford and shopping as a way of avoiding negative emotions. “When you take the white noise out of your mind and just lay it out verbally in front of somebody you tend to be able to make some sense of what’s going on. A lot of times people just need to unpack or chat about all of the stuff that's going on in their head because it creates a real fog. So if you go to a psychologist you can just use narrative therapy, talking therapy, to talk it out,” she explains.

For Gianna, seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist to help treat her chronic anxiety and OCD has allowed her to see how much her mental illnesses feed into her compulsive shopping. “Treating my chronic anxiety and OCD is really part of treating my spending problem. So part of that is schema therapy and also just trying to feel secure and safe in myself. It’s a long and hard process but I just keep going.”

Sara says that some people with shopping addictions use meditation and relaxation techniques to manage their compulsions. These techniques enable sufferers to pause when they experience the desire to shop and reassess whether they want to buy something out of a genuine need or to fill a void. “Meditation techniques, relaxation techniques and mindfulness can bring you back to yourself, allow you to take a breath and re-evaluate what is meaningful and what your priorities are. And they probably aren't shopping and getting a new acquisition.”

Even if you’re not struggling with shopping addiction, the pressure to shop is at an all-time high. Inexpensive fast fashion brands encourage excessive consumption by tricking consumers into feeling like they’re snapping up a bargain when in reality, the clothing these brands make often won’t even last the season. We’re bombarded with shopping hauls, new micro trends and impeccably dressed celebrities and content creators every time we open Instagram and TikTok, and this content undeniably encourages us to add more to our wardrobes. 

Each year, roughly 180,000 tonnes of clothing and textile waste ends up in New Zealand landfills, a shocking statistic that confirms one thing: we’re all shopping too much. My advice, as a reformed shopaholic, is to avoid buy-now-pay-later apps, give yourself several weeks (at least) to mull over a new purchase and opt for one high-quality, well-made item over multiple throwaway fast fashion pieces. 

As an added bonus, I’ve found that having a wardrobe that’s not overstuffed forces you to make the most of what you already own, and get creative with your clothes. Since I’ve stopped blowing my pay on clothes I don’t need, my outfits are more thoughtfully curated, and my bank account is looking much healthier – a win-win if you ask me.

* Name has been changed for privacy reasons